Have you seen the #WhatIWantToTellYou hashtag on Instagram this week? Someone had this beautiful idea to create a campaign about what you’d tell your younger self. Kind of like our own version of #itgetsbetter. My friend Jane (@themuchomama) shared her story and it’s spread like wildfire.
I’ve loved seeing everyone’s childhood photos show up in my IG feed. There is a lot of Peter Pan collars, blunt bangs, and 80s hair happening! But it didn’t quite strike a chord with me because my 5 year old self was learning how to do the monkey bars and read books – and she was having a damn good time of it. No, when I think back to the version of myself who needs this message, she’s 25, not 5.
In full disclosure, I’ve always had to be attune to my mental health and wellness – it’s something I’ve struggled with and thrived despite since second grade. #truestory
But the age where I just straight struggled was my 20’s. I didn’t trust who I was, didn’t know who I wanted to be, and I didn’t feel deserving or worth success, positive relationships, or even my own time and effort.
Full disclosure #2: My parents and Big’s parents, and really the whole world can see this, and I thought about not posting it because it’s gritty and real and not the most flattering portrayal of who I was.
But then I realized, it’s a true testament to who I am now despite all that.
Lexi, you’re a mess. You’re not messy in the creative, quirky way you aspire to, you’re just a mess.
Fear and failure to launch is getting the best parts of you professionally.
Fickle friendships are getting your attention, because they’re easier than letting anyone truly know you.
Men who are not worthy, and most definitely not treating you with dignity or respect, let alone love, are debasing and devaluing you, because it’s easier to let them because you don’t think someone good would ever love someone your size.
You eat and drink for comfort, to quell anxiety, to reward yourself, for your amusement, but rarely for fuel. You shame eat in a cyclical fashion: binge, shame, binge, shame, repeat.
You are wasting your life. There’s no good way to sugarcoat it, so why bother?
So that’s where you are. But it doesn’t have to be where you stay.
You have a goodness in you, an inquisitive mind, and a real ability to contribute to the world around you. You need to trust your gut more, and be unapologetically unafraid to take chances – on people and on what you want from your life.
Your gift of gab is going to come in handy – turns out people will actually pay you to do it. #forrealz
There is a world full of other weirdos with big hearts, and you’re going to find some of them where you least expect it, like on a bike or a rower or the internet. And you’ll keep and re-find others, like the one from luau.
There is a man who’s going to change everything. Everything you thought you wanted, and so much more than you ever envisioned in a partner. He’s worldly yet dorky, wicked smart but also funny, and most of all, he’s kind. He’ll support you and push you and inspire you to be so much more than you even thought was possible.
And girl… wait until you see the body underneath all that shame eating! It is STRONG, vibrant, and it walks SO FAST now! It still loves French fries, but also loves mushrooms, kale and yes, even carrots! #whoknew
You’re going to travel and taste the world, love, you’re going to be a good auntie, a loyal friend, a leader, a #GirlBoss and most of all, you’re going to stop battling the idea of who you should be, and embrace the woman you’ve always been. xoxo
PS: Blondes really do have more fun.