Birthday Reflections

“It’s never too late.”
I woke up this morning another year older, and I couldn’t help but sigh a (not-so) little sigh of relief.
The last year of my life has had some epic highs – traveling the world with Mr. Big, barefoot in the backyard chasing my nieces or spending time with our families, the birth of baby Vita, Girls’ Weekends, and so many other days I felt strong and confident and loved.
It also brought some of the most challenging experiences of my life – losing a family member, leaving a job, struggling to find my place, my inability to locate my weight loss focus, feeling guilt, shame, self-loathing I couldn’t shake, crying (okay, sobbing) in the dark SoulCycle studio mid-ride because I felt hidden from my failures there. I spent too much of this year feeling broken, ashamed, and worst of all: uncertain.
I can handle a lot of things, but not feeling sure of myself rocked me like nothing I’d experienced before. I was still doing all the things that made me successful before. I still worked hard. I was still a good person. I still always brought my cart back at the supermarket and held the door for people. So why wasn’t life easy for me like everyone else?!
It has taken me most of the year, and I imagine will take me the rest of my life to truly know what Fitzgerald knew: it’s never too late. And if you’re not living a life you’re proud of every day, have the courage to TRUST YOUR GUT and start again. I’m worth that, and I know you are, too.
My mantra for 37 is simple: “Show up!” Show up for yourself and make it a life worth living. Show up for your people. Show up (and put down the phone) for your partner. Show up for your body and your weight loss goals. Show up and work hard to make a difference. Show up and do the damn thing, whatever the “thing” is. Show up and give this year and this life everything you’ve got.
We have just this one life. I want to show up for every moment.
xoxo, Alexis

 

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